Jingle Bells and Secret Santas
by Thatkliqkid
Summary: ONESHOT.A festive fic I wrote for the Christmas season. Set in series 3. One night after work the officers stay to decorate the chapel and exchange gifts. Sorry if it ends swiftly lol. please read and review.


"_Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg; the Bat mobile-"_

"Trust you to ruin a classic"

The heftier man startled; the glittering and twinkling box quivered in his hands before toppling, dousing the smaller man in tinsel and fairy lights. Hanson stood; his face sour - a bitter contrast to the festive cheer now entwined around him.

"Don't you dare laugh" he warned, unwinding the wires and cables from his slender frame.

Doug bit his lip in an effort to quell the laughter he felt bubble and rise in his throat. He rearranged his features quickly at Hanson's look of frosted displeasure.

"Come on Tommy it was funny"

"It was _not_" he snapped riving the tinsel from his shoulder. It split into silver wisps and floated surreptitiously to the ground.

"Well, aren't you just the Grinch who tried to steal Christmas" mocked Doug his eyes twinkling.

"I don't wanna steal it, I wanna annihilate it" snapped Hanson grumpily

"But what about all the little Whos on Whoville?"

"You take Dr Seuss way to seriously Doug" retorted Hanson as he handed the box back to his partner.

Doug took it, rummaged deep inside the cardboard before giving a small gasp of triumph. He lifted the bauble into the air victoriously before placing it on the bough.

"Well you take being moody far too seriously. Haven't you ever seen _A Christmas Carol_ Ebenezer?"

"Stop with the festive name calling!" snapped Hanson

"Well stop being so miserable, Hanson it's nearly _Christmas_ for crying out loud!"

" I am aware" replied Hanson coldly

"Well cheer up! Come on we'll decorate the tree, drink eggnog, sing carols it'll be fun"

Hanson wrinkled his nose in obvious disgust; he glanced around him swiftly as if searching for something.

"What?" asked Doug quizzically

"I'm just looking for the rest of the Walton family" snapped Hanson his voice dripping with sarcasm

"Ok that's it!"

An explosion of tinsel, glitter and festive ornaments peppered the carpet, the baubles rolled to a stop against the base of the tree.

Hanson nibbled at his lip; a hint of amusement shimmered in his eyes.

"No need to throw such a temper tantrum Douglas"

"You're a pain in the ass Hanson" snapped Doug picking up the fallen ornaments.

Hanson crouched down, helped him pick up the delicate items.

He stood first, dusted himself down and stared at his dejected friend.

" I'm sorry I was a jerk"  
" Yeah well it's your Christmas tradition isn't it?" laughed Doug

" Ok, how about I climb the ladder, sing a stupid song and help decorate the tree in an effort to make amends?"

" Now _that_ I would pay to see!" cried Doug gleefully.

" Gimmie the box" snapped Hanson rolling his eyes. He clambered the step ladder and stood delicately, stretched his slender frame as he tried to reach the highest bough to put the star on top.

" Are you gonna sing?"

" Are you gonna catch me if I fall?" retorted Hanson shakily.

" Of course not"

" Jerk"

" Sing a silly song and I'll consider it"

" _while shepards wash their socks by night all huddled on the bank, the angel of the lord came down and taught them how to-"_

" NOT THAT ONE!" cried Doug snatching at his partner's jacket in an effort to prevent him finishing the offensive rhyme.

" You said-"

" I said silly not filthy!" chastised Doug releasing the leather material swiftly.

The wooden ladder wobbled against the wall prompting Hanson to let out a gasp of trepidation which quickly stifled to relief as the ladder slowed to a stop.

"_Never_ do that when I'm standing up a ladder again you idiot!" he snapped his eyes glittering dangerously.

"Now Penhall is trying to push Hanson off a ladder _really_ the most festive thing to do?" enquired Judy entering the office. She flung her stack of folders on her desk and glanced at the pair.

"It'd make my Christmas" muttered Fuller coming into the office to join them.

"Always nice to know people care and lets not forget I love you too Captain" replied Hanson carefully making his way back to the sanctuary of solid ground.

He shot a smirk in his superior's direction, snapped obnoxiously on his gum.

"Yo Jude, When are we exchanging the presents?" hollered Doug reminding the chapel of what this after work meeting was meant to be about - Putting up the tree, exchanging gifts and eating cookies. Hanson smiled.

"You know Doug Christmas isn't just about the gifts-"began Judy

"Yeah I know baby Jesus, birthday of Santa - just gimmie the presents already!"

Hanson choked on his own laughter; he hurriedly tried to control it as he was shot chastising looks by both his captain and the annoyed Detective.

"As soon as Ioki and Booker get here we can start exchanging the secret Santa gifts" announced Judy slightly exasperated at her co-worker's childishness, "Now why don't you just sit sensibly and wait?"

The two men jostled and fought for position around the table, and with an overzealous shove Penhall evicted Hanson from the seat they were vying for and swung his legs up onto the desktop in victory.

" I said _sensibly!"_ cried Judy rolling her eyes.

Hanson scrambled up from the floor and took the vacant seat beside his friend.

"That's twice you've nearly had me on the floor" he muttered

"No that's once I _nearly_ had you on the floor. The second time I knocked you flat on your ass" corrected Doug smugly

"I hope Booker's your secret Santa" muttered Hanson, "I hope he got you a scarf or something"

" Why would you hope that?" cried Doug pretending to be mortally wounded, " That's just _mean_"  
" Yeah yet trying to push people off ladders and shoving said people off chairs is _totally_ in the Christmas spirit. I mean that's just the picture perfect example of niceness" retorted Hanson sarcastically

"Shut up"

"And the good will just keeps on coming"

"I'm gonna knock you out-"  
"Try it" countered Hanson

"_Enough!"_ snapped Judy firmly, "Guys, it's nearly Christmas and all you two are doing is bickering"

" Why should the Christmas season be any different from every other day of the year" muttered Fuller beneath his breath.

" Why must you mother us?" enquired Doug throwing Judy a scrutinizing glance.

" Yeah!" agreed Hanson heartedly

"Ok so _now_ you can agree on something" snapped Judy agitatedly. With an exasperated sigh she flounced to the window to fix the floundering fairy lights that Hanson had thrown earlier that afternoon in a fit of temper when he couldn't get them to work properly; glad of the distraction from the immature officers sat at the table awaiting presents like expectant children on Christmas morning Judy set about stringing them around the window.

The bitterness of December air swept through the chapel and carried its frostiness into every nook and cranny, forcefully and easily cutting through the officers' thin clothing.

"SHUT THE DOOR!" cried Hanson and Penhall simultaneously

Ioki appeared first, his slender frame wrapped in the thick duffel coat, his mouth covered by the red and green striped scarf.

"I wonder if Booker chose Ioki" mulled Doug in a whisper; he leaned in close so that only Hanson could hear him

"I'm still holding out for him having chosen you" replied Hanson softly, a grin lighting his features.

"Shut up" muttered Doug

"Sorry we're late" Ioki said as he unwrapped himself from his many layers

"_Now_ can I have my present?!"

"You see everyone sitting round the table yet Dougie?" enquired Hanson

"No" muttered Doug

"Then no present!" he cried gleefully

"I can't believe you derive pleasure from my suffering"

"Hey man knowing I can do this every December is what keeps me going for the rest of the year" retorted Hanson a smirk on his face.

He glanced up as Booker entered the office his leather jacket unzipped and his hair a mess.

He shot them all a lazy grin.

"Now?" pleaded Doug, his eyes wide and imploring.

"Come on guys let's put Penhall outta his misery" laughed Fuller, taking a seat beside Hanson.

Ioki and Hoffs sat.

"COME ON MAN!" cried Doug impatiently as Booker sauntered over

" Calm down Dougie, I'm sure whatever it is that you're getting from the 99 cents store can wait" he retorted flippantly as he took his seat.

"I hope Hanson is your secret Santa" snapped Doug obnoxiously

Booker laughed

"Ah sweet thing like him probably wouldn't have a clue what to buy me"

Hanson shot him a dark look, his feelings of animosity for the officer had not diminished over the six long months he had been part of the Jump Street program.

"I'd know exactly what to get you" he said eventually

"Oh yeah and what might that be Tommy?"  
"A gag for that big mouth of yours" he said as a dismissive grin caressed his delicate features.

Doug spluttered against his palm as his shoulders shook with amusement.

"Ah Laurel and Hardy back in the chapel" muttered Booker

"Enough you three!" chastised Fuller rolling his eyes, "Right, now the squabbling's out of the way, do you think we can exchange the presents?"

"_Yes!_ THANK YOU!" boomed Doug theatrically.


End file.
